if ignorance is an epidemic then stupidity must be a pandemic

it’s good to say I am satisfied… Satisfied with what you may ask? The politics? the war? the economic “situation”? The millions of staving people? NO, no no no. I’m satisfied in fact overjoyed with my love life it was rejuvenated… restarted at the heart and pumped through my body with such ferocity I could simply say I love you. Because in reality I do. I met her years ago… But really I met her in December 3 days after my birth day… The day my brother died… she knew him, and we were mourning on the 3rd year of passing. She was apart of the orchestra I was part of the wrestling team. It never seemed like we would be, we lived in such separate worlds. Although I will be honest at first I didn’t what to make of it. I was predisposed, I was busy with some other select things. Not girls, but sports and such. And, I didn’t think much of it… But, who would guess so much further on it would unferral into this.

I think a lot of guys can relate, that when you have a girl and you don’t talk and you don’t see as much or you just don’t do as much stuff together cause school or work or cause they’re asleep and you’re not. It makes us sad, I know that sounds like a little kids aspect but it’s so true. We are jelaus even of your friends, it’s just nature, and being with out for even a little or being with out a text for just a little will ah drive one crazy. Cause more then anything we want to spend all our time with you, now don’t get me wrong we need our dude time and alone time to but most of the time we just want you. Most of the time you’re what we think about, I may be speaking for my self but I’m pretty sure that most guys will agree with me.

I mean I’m up for a few hours befor my girl gets up let me tell you after my run is the saddest part of the day… Cause what do I have to do? I run at 5 in the morning she’s not up, so I have to post or play a game or crawl back in bed (which I hate). when what I believe I want and possibly need is her. We know you need your rest but we also need you. So we grow restless. I mean some times we check our phones thinking you called or thinking you texted just to find that it’s blank. And makes us sad to see that. It’s as if we’re paranoid and it’s really because we in all honesty love you.

Now on the topic of love… it’s never to soon to say it, as long as you mean it. Now most guys refuse to say it in fact mock each other for saying it, but they know they want to. Because you can be in a relationship for 5 seconds and understand that you’re with this person because you love them. Guy don’t say it because if you say it back that means you have “attachment”… and what if it doesn’t work out or possibly worse you do something you shouldn’t be doing while in a relationship or you could loose intrest or you just fear loosing the relationship. But, keep in mind that if you mean it you should know that it will take more then that to deter you from loving her.  But, this is more so why that word happens to be so hard to use… But, I’m sure I’m using it properly.

To be honest this post has taken over a week to write… I’m not sure why but it has… Maybe this is a new trend. I was looking at some older post, and found MISSION OF THE POSITION (C). What I’d do to work on that book some more… Well Chris if you post it or send me a link to it I’ll work on it. With that in mind I’ll leave with a question. What are your views on love ? how should it be used?  and when is it appriopriat to use?

“if ignorance is bliss, why do we seek knowledge?”

OMEGA OUT

Today I leave. Today I leave for the abyss. The abyss of WEST VIRGINIA. You want to know who’d be mad at reading this post after all of this? Mr.Lilly I don’t have your number so I have no way to contact you. But, if you happen to come across this post before Sunday at 7 in the morning give me a jingle (304-982-9509)-the Jew. Now to anyone else who reads this it would be greatly appreciated if you did not take the number and did not call me a leave creepy voice mails… Now you can text away I’ll text back… But, for the phone calls lets keep it to a minimum and after 7 or on weekends my mother would kill me for high cell phone bill. Any how, yes I am leaving for the airport here in a short while… I have a connecting flight in Atlanta… DEAR GOD… I hate that state let alone that airport it’s almost as bad as the Las Vegas airport, that but all BLACK. Any way I got a haircut it’s a Mohawk… And I have it nicely spiked… It’s better looking then I’d ever thought it would be. But, I’m also sad the same girl I wrote about in the previous post…Well she seemingly wants me back I told her I was leaving and she called me crying. Maybe, she’s on the rag but I’d like to think other wise. So, after a long disscusion I think she cares for me more then I had formally known. Maybe cause the first thing… Maybe not I really don’t know but, I’d like to figure it out. I mean I really care for her. I fear using the word love because I’m not  really there yet and I’m not going to mistake that. But, I definitely do care for her so much it’s just I’m not sure how to tell her. She’s my best friend. And I love her. Well I find my self in a rut again. I really appreciate this girl, I like spending time with her, I like making her laugh and giggle it makes me laugh makes me smile. I hate doing things out of anger, out of being upset at a situation rather then thinking about. I did that with her… Just didn’t think about what I was doing. I messed up and I’m not sure if I could fix it, and I can usually fix everything. I just want to wake up next to her every morning… And make sure she’s well asleep every night. And, I can’t do that how everything is now. Well maybe we’ll come to terms I’d more then anything like that.

Well, I should be getting to the going, I should bid you Au due. Bon nuit. Bon voyage. Bon chance. AVOIR. and with that I leave you a quote from the 5th century B.C.

Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta- “All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.”

The JEW.

Ahh another… day. I have this problem, it’s called a girl. See my whole life I’ve for the most part haven’t cared much about who I have relationships with I mean the after effects of what I’ve done. Or how I’ve left the “heart broken” and all that jazz. Or how I left bruises or scars or a ruined friend ship or a few or all these horrible things. But, after this last time it’s like I can’t let go. It’s as if I had to move from West Virginia all over again, It’s like I’ve moved on so much that I want to stay. The only problem is that altho the feeling is mutual her friends feelings mean more then mine…How sad is that. I guess I typically take what I want when I want it like a virginity or 2 here and there… Well, there’s no reason for you all to me reading about my personal life but, besides football practice, wrestling practice and sex I don’t have much to do here in the damn desert. And thus haven’t much to talk about. I wish it hadn’t happened, I wish it could be that easy, I wish it could be all to simple for once. But, that could never happen now could it.

How do I get back there to,The place where I fell asleep inside you? That, that is how I feel, how sad is that ? I’d be impressed if anyone knew those lyrics… Anyway, those aren’t good lyrics either. But, it shows you where I really am right now. I think everything will be okay but sometimes I want… Something and I’ve tried a lot it’s just as if I wont be better. But, I still want to kill someone I mean that legitimately that’s why I’m joining the navy. I want to feel what that feels like to take a life. So, I suppose there’s a lot wrong right now but that’s what I’ve been expecting, waiting for it to explode. Waiting, for my life to… do something and I suppose this isn’t what was suppose to happen but it did. I want to tattoo my self, that sounds good. And in all this my mom doesn’t say it’s bad but for me to wait to think it through, No see when you think it through you have time to think of all the consequences. I prefer to not look at those or even think about them.EVER.

I love Frank Sinatra, just love his voice it’s very soothing he’s an amazing artist. I also can relate to his love issues… But, we’re not going to get into that. Anyway, I’ve not been sleeping either, which with the physical activity that I per form I should sleep. You think that I’d care more about that too… But I don’t. Sleeping is for the ones that are tired, and that’s not something I am. You know what I’m going sky diving soon, so I’m pretty excited about that. Who doesn’t want to jump out of a plane and free fall for roughly 5 minutes and solely depend on a unfold able material from a backpack like device. That fits my death wish right about now. I think after that I’ll go hot air ballooning…

I’ve been reading hindu scripture on and off in the recent the Bhagavad Gita. Very nice vivid scripture… and with that I leave you

“If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst at once into the sky, that would be like the splendor of the mighty one…” – The song of God “Bhagavad Gita”

Omega Out.

ahhh out of popular demand, I return!! I come out of retirement for one last post…? No, no no no no it’s not over…NEVER is it OVER!!! well to be honest I have alot of things to say and do but I lack a good amount of initiative and motivation and not litharigicness… wait I have motivation it’s just not that great… any how I’ve found a new addiction for writing not regular writing, writing in second person. Writing in second person is like killing comunist or clubbing baby seals or beating helpless people… that it’s sooo right and sooo wrong at the same time. I’ll let you figure out that one on your own. Anyhow I also found a new skill of glueing words together and making them make sense. It makes me feel like Shakespeare, molding ideas into words and the only logical backing behind them is me. And, that’s not to logical…SOMETIMES!!!… BWUAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Anywho now that most of the marbles are out of the bag it’s like things click and make sense. Back on topic ! oh wait thats me… Well I’ve been lifting weights and apart of many sports teams… like football and wrestling, I enjoy them alot. The thing is I hate them too, infact I despise them but they’re pretty fun. Well, to my readers…old and new…sane and not so much… I wish you all avoir bon nuit… and come agian.

“through the power of truth, I  while living, have conquered the universe.”—FAUST

Stop commenting on my grammar…You fat,fat,fat,fat,fatty,mcfat fat. So , now that we all now I’m talking about Chris… I’m just joking about the fat thing. Anyway. So, yeah today sucked… I went to a new church in California… And it sucked! The people there didn’t shut up the whole time. It’s not like it’s that hard to listen to someone for an hour I MEAN COME ON. And then the guy next to me wouln’t stop being gay… No offense but he left like mid way through with his boy friend to go to a Dodgers game… Why were they there in the first place.

Anyway… And then I come to find out my love in West Virginia who I’m not dating cause I had to move, hasa boyfriend… I mean I’m not particularly up set per say because well, that’s why I didn’t ask her out so I couldn’t hold her down like that. But, it was just a shock…I mean she wasn’t like Josh I have a boyfriend, I found out on accident… Anyway.

Well, on a more positive note my mother got her car a new one… This one I like a-lot. And, when I say this one I mean we have had so many… But, this one is a keeper. It’s a dark red 1999 chrystler sebring convertable… Yeah that’s right… Convertable. Yeah my mom was picking cars and she liked it and I liked it and she was like “well I should get something you like too cause, in a year I’ll give it to you and I’ll get my BMW.” And I said… “I’ll take the beemer…” and she said “ha… maybe when I die.” And, that was our conversation. So I’m happy about that cause in a year I’ll have  my license. But, she and I also opted for me getting a motocycle and going to cycle school but, I think you have to be 18.

Anyway… I guess I should tell you about my kung fu… It’s going well.

Hmmmm i wasn’t sure weather or not to make this post a sorry for not posting or because i haven’t posted it’ll be a formal exit. Well i think I’ll go with neithor. Really, I just need to tell you I’m alive and doing fine. But, why wouldn’t I ? To be honest I don’t have any reason to be upset or down.

I problably won’t be on much and this is because of how my life is now… but I’ll try

Today was peaceful… Very peaceful. I got up a bit later, didn’t worry about a shower. Took my little brother to school and ran back that makes .6miles. Then I sat just sat for a good 20 ace. After that I sweapt up this little mess my dog had made. Then I pulled my sheets off of my bed and I put them in the washer. Then I sat at the computer rutienly checking the washer and dryer for my clothes to pack so i can be done with it. And so on.

I really enjoyed today I got alot done and it wasn’t stressfull. Now I come dow nto tell you what the title means through out the day to day i wanted tea and so I’m sitting here sippin’ a nice warm cup of chinesse tea imported from china through my grandmother and I’m thinkin’ to my self that I’m gonan go out side maybe kick around the soccerball. mainly soccer cause next year I’m aiming for a varsity team in cali. So I will be leaving you for now .

“you’re only as healthy as to the extent that your thoughts are humane.”

No that isn’t jibberish… that’s what baptists speak. No, this is hebrew, what jews speak jews are people who may eat people but have alot of money and have been killed for a long time and so on. But, back to this here quote, this means…”Only the judgement of GOD shall matter.”  And i guess this would be said in jibberish by one of those baptists but I’m not sure. Anyway I felt the incline to post this and let this out because I am considering a tattoo and I wanted an iron cross, a war medal used in germany and occasionally italy amongst other countries associated with nazis most commonly, nazis are guys who killed the hebrew speaking people. And so on 

 When I though about  the Iron cross I figured nah someone will mistake me for a skinhead… a skin head is a nazi of madern time… But geometrically, a math… it’s very asthetically pleasing…Then I thought you know I want a star of david a jewish symbol and then I relized I pray to jesus savoir of the jews but they hate him, so christians pray to him another religious group.  But I figured I want something in hebrew… And I also figured that because of my religous stand points this would be good. I also believe this and am sick of people worrying about what others think of them, big deal they said you were fat, or stupid or ugly. Really it dosen’t matter.

So stop compliying to everyone’s ideas and judgements grow up a bit and learn that if you don’t think you live up to their standdars then really you fail… But at what you ask ? NOTHING don’t be stupid you’ll never understand what THEY want because they have no clue what they want AND NEITHER DO YOU. You know it’s easy to rip on others it feels good it build you up… But honestly you want to be like them the ones who you hate. Oh wait I forgot you always become what you hate… Thats why you hate it you’re to scared of becoming it… I mean come on now you fear what you don’t know just as you hate what you fear so you esencially become what you’re ignorant about… hmmm intresting.

Anyway well i find the need to point out blinders !! blinders are these things that cover the sides of your head so you can only see forward. BLINDERS… come on now who dosen’t love a good blinded person. I mean I love totaly owning you and your blinded selfs… I moved to a place where almost the whole state has blinders on except a select few, and those well I mostly befriended. Listen people take the blinders off grow up look into what people say take everythign with a grain of salt. Don’t let others tell you something then go and spread it before you look into it. AND THEN THERE IS NO REASON TO SPREAD IT.

I really hope there are people still reading this. I want people to know more then anything that I think and know that people shouldn’t be bias or have hatred towards somethign they just don’t understand. And I also feel as if this country needs to be changed needs to be rocked in a way to bring back tolorance and so on.

See and the problem is not just the people it’s the leadership I mean it starts there. And weather you support bush or not… Really it shouldn’t matter you should believe and be open hearted… i mean honestly put your self in their shoes.  I mean you would fight for your family that’s what people do… People fight for what they call their own, no matter what the cost is. It’s human nature.

this being one of my more dignified posts I hope it can effect people but unfortuantly it probley won’t.

“you’re only as healthy to the extent that your thoughts are humane.”

Haha funny Mr.Lilley… Your cluster map is ridiculus… it’s like risk and I’m lossing and I never loose at risk… Well don’t worry I’ll get africa one way or another…  I mean you even took the Middle East… I mean those ARE MY LANDS !!!… well im not seeing that Isreal has been taken I’ll get it… I mean come on…

Anyway done whinning… This hurricane idea is intresting… especially when it puts out your power… I mean it didn’t but it did for a bit. But, I’m not sure what to say… I mean I’ll be moving back to Cali if you have a need to follow me… and things like this won’t and don’t happen there… so yeah it’s a new experience.

“you’re only as helthy as to the extent that your thoughts are humane.”

Hmmmm well I am looking to appeal to the young man in the back… What? … yes the young man in the back, can I appeal to him… no why would you want to do that… well I’m not completely sure my self, I just want to talk with the young lad… Well as you can see he’s busy… what ? no he isn’t… actually he is… no he isn’t… Well let’s say he isn’t, what would you like to talk with him about… he’s busy why can’t you see that… Yes but I’m trying to appeal to you so you can appeal to him, so let’s be metophorical… Well in that case your dead and this tavern dosen’t exsist… Sir… Yes… What do you need with the man in the back… What man in the back ?… the one there see right there… nope theres noone there… What?!?! yes there is… ummm sir you need to keep your voice down in this lovely tavern… WHAT!?! I work here im suppose to be telling you that you asked for my help for the young man in the back now tell me what you need with him and I’ll go get him… sir, calm down I didn’t ask for anyone… Alright fine you win… win what are we playing a game?… I have a job to do… yes we all do… Yes but mine requiers me now so I’ll be going… alright bye