if ignorance is an epidemic then stupidity must be a pandemic

Today I leave. Today I leave for the abyss. The abyss of WEST VIRGINIA. You want to know who’d be mad at reading this post after all of this? Mr.Lilly I don’t have your number so I have no way to contact you. But, if you happen to come across this post before Sunday at 7 in the morning give me a jingle (304-982-9509)-the Jew. Now to anyone else who reads this it would be greatly appreciated if you did not take the number and did not call me a leave creepy voice mails… Now you can text away I’ll text back… But, for the phone calls lets keep it to a minimum and after 7 or on weekends my mother would kill me for high cell phone bill. Any how, yes I am leaving for the airport here in a short while… I have a connecting flight in Atlanta… DEAR GOD… I hate that state let alone that airport it’s almost as bad as the Las Vegas airport, that but all BLACK. Any way I got a haircut it’s a Mohawk… And I have it nicely spiked… It’s better looking then I’d ever thought it would be. But, I’m also sad the same girl I wrote about in the previous post…Well she seemingly wants me back I told her I was leaving and she called me crying. Maybe, she’s on the rag but I’d like to think other wise. So, after a long disscusion I think she cares for me more then I had formally known. Maybe cause the first thing… Maybe not I really don’t know but, I’d like to figure it out. I mean I really care for her. I fear using the word love because I’m not  really there yet and I’m not going to mistake that. But, I definitely do care for her so much it’s just I’m not sure how to tell her. She’s my best friend. And I love her. Well I find my self in a rut again. I really appreciate this girl, I like spending time with her, I like making her laugh and giggle it makes me laugh makes me smile. I hate doing things out of anger, out of being upset at a situation rather then thinking about. I did that with her… Just didn’t think about what I was doing. I messed up and I’m not sure if I could fix it, and I can usually fix everything. I just want to wake up next to her every morning… And make sure she’s well asleep every night. And, I can’t do that how everything is now. Well maybe we’ll come to terms I’d more then anything like that.

Well, I should be getting to the going, I should bid you Au due. Bon nuit. Bon voyage. Bon chance. AVOIR. and with that I leave you a quote from the 5th century B.C.

Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta- “All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.”

The JEW.

Ahh another… day. I have this problem, it’s called a girl. See my whole life I’ve for the most part haven’t cared much about who I have relationships with I mean the after effects of what I’ve done. Or how I’ve left the “heart broken” and all that jazz. Or how I left bruises or scars or a ruined friend ship or a few or all these horrible things. But, after this last time it’s like I can’t let go. It’s as if I had to move from West Virginia all over again, It’s like I’ve moved on so much that I want to stay. The only problem is that altho the feeling is mutual her friends feelings mean more then mine…How sad is that. I guess I typically take what I want when I want it like a virginity or 2 here and there… Well, there’s no reason for you all to me reading about my personal life but, besides football practice, wrestling practice and sex I don’t have much to do here in the damn desert. And thus haven’t much to talk about. I wish it hadn’t happened, I wish it could be that easy, I wish it could be all to simple for once. But, that could never happen now could it.

How do I get back there to,The place where I fell asleep inside you? That, that is how I feel, how sad is that ? I’d be impressed if anyone knew those lyrics… Anyway, those aren’t good lyrics either. But, it shows you where I really am right now. I think everything will be okay but sometimes I want… Something and I’ve tried a lot it’s just as if I wont be better. But, I still want to kill someone I mean that legitimately that’s why I’m joining the navy. I want to feel what that feels like to take a life. So, I suppose there’s a lot wrong right now but that’s what I’ve been expecting, waiting for it to explode. Waiting, for my life to… do something and I suppose this isn’t what was suppose to happen but it did. I want to tattoo my self, that sounds good. And in all this my mom doesn’t say it’s bad but for me to wait to think it through, No see when you think it through you have time to think of all the consequences. I prefer to not look at those or even think about them.EVER.

I love Frank Sinatra, just love his voice it’s very soothing he’s an amazing artist. I also can relate to his love issues… But, we’re not going to get into that. Anyway, I’ve not been sleeping either, which with the physical activity that I per form I should sleep. You think that I’d care more about that too… But I don’t. Sleeping is for the ones that are tired, and that’s not something I am. You know what I’m going sky diving soon, so I’m pretty excited about that. Who doesn’t want to jump out of a plane and free fall for roughly 5 minutes and solely depend on a unfold able material from a backpack like device. That fits my death wish right about now. I think after that I’ll go hot air ballooning…

I’ve been reading hindu scripture on and off in the recent the Bhagavad Gita. Very nice vivid scripture… and with that I leave you

“If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst at once into the sky, that would be like the splendor of the mighty one…” – The song of God “Bhagavad Gita”

Omega Out.