if ignorance is an epidemic then stupidity must be a pandemic

it’s good to say I am satisfied… Satisfied with what you may ask? The politics? the war? the economic “situation”? The millions of staving people? NO, no no no. I’m satisfied in fact overjoyed with my love life it was rejuvenated… restarted at the heart and pumped through my body with such ferocity I could simply say I love you. Because in reality I do. I met her years ago… But really I met her in December 3 days after my birth day… The day my brother died… she knew him, and we were mourning on the 3rd year of passing. She was apart of the orchestra I was part of the wrestling team. It never seemed like we would be, we lived in such separate worlds. Although I will be honest at first I didn’t what to make of it. I was predisposed, I was busy with some other select things. Not girls, but sports and such. And, I didn’t think much of it… But, who would guess so much further on it would unferral into this.

I think a lot of guys can relate, that when you have a girl and you don’t talk and you don’t see as much or you just don’t do as much stuff together cause school or work or cause they’re asleep and you’re not. It makes us sad, I know that sounds like a little kids aspect but it’s so true. We are jelaus even of your friends, it’s just nature, and being with out for even a little or being with out a text for just a little will ah drive one crazy. Cause more then anything we want to spend all our time with you, now don’t get me wrong we need our dude time and alone time to but most of the time we just want you. Most of the time you’re what we think about, I may be speaking for my self but I’m pretty sure that most guys will agree with me.

I mean I’m up for a few hours befor my girl gets up let me tell you after my run is the saddest part of the day… Cause what do I have to do? I run at 5 in the morning she’s not up, so I have to post or play a game or crawl back in bed (which I hate). when what I believe I want and possibly need is her. We know you need your rest but we also need you. So we grow restless. I mean some times we check our phones thinking you called or thinking you texted just to find that it’s blank. And makes us sad to see that. It’s as if we’re paranoid and it’s really because we in all honesty love you.

Now on the topic of love… it’s never to soon to say it, as long as you mean it. Now most guys refuse to say it in fact mock each other for saying it, but they know they want to. Because you can be in a relationship for 5 seconds and understand that you’re with this person because you love them. Guy don’t say it because if you say it back that means you have “attachment”… and what if it doesn’t work out or possibly worse you do something you shouldn’t be doing while in a relationship or you could loose intrest or you just fear loosing the relationship. But, keep in mind that if you mean it you should know that it will take more then that to deter you from loving her.  But, this is more so why that word happens to be so hard to use… But, I’m sure I’m using it properly.

To be honest this post has taken over a week to write… I’m not sure why but it has… Maybe this is a new trend. I was looking at some older post, and found MISSION OF THE POSITION (C). What I’d do to work on that book some more… Well Chris if you post it or send me a link to it I’ll work on it. With that in mind I’ll leave with a question. What are your views on love ? how should it be used?  and when is it appriopriat to use?

“if ignorance is bliss, why do we seek knowledge?”

OMEGA OUT

Ahh another… day. I have this problem, it’s called a girl. See my whole life I’ve for the most part haven’t cared much about who I have relationships with I mean the after effects of what I’ve done. Or how I’ve left the “heart broken” and all that jazz. Or how I left bruises or scars or a ruined friend ship or a few or all these horrible things. But, after this last time it’s like I can’t let go. It’s as if I had to move from West Virginia all over again, It’s like I’ve moved on so much that I want to stay. The only problem is that altho the feeling is mutual her friends feelings mean more then mine…How sad is that. I guess I typically take what I want when I want it like a virginity or 2 here and there… Well, there’s no reason for you all to me reading about my personal life but, besides football practice, wrestling practice and sex I don’t have much to do here in the damn desert. And thus haven’t much to talk about. I wish it hadn’t happened, I wish it could be that easy, I wish it could be all to simple for once. But, that could never happen now could it.

How do I get back there to,The place where I fell asleep inside you? That, that is how I feel, how sad is that ? I’d be impressed if anyone knew those lyrics… Anyway, those aren’t good lyrics either. But, it shows you where I really am right now. I think everything will be okay but sometimes I want… Something and I’ve tried a lot it’s just as if I wont be better. But, I still want to kill someone I mean that legitimately that’s why I’m joining the navy. I want to feel what that feels like to take a life. So, I suppose there’s a lot wrong right now but that’s what I’ve been expecting, waiting for it to explode. Waiting, for my life to… do something and I suppose this isn’t what was suppose to happen but it did. I want to tattoo my self, that sounds good. And in all this my mom doesn’t say it’s bad but for me to wait to think it through, No see when you think it through you have time to think of all the consequences. I prefer to not look at those or even think about them.EVER.

I love Frank Sinatra, just love his voice it’s very soothing he’s an amazing artist. I also can relate to his love issues… But, we’re not going to get into that. Anyway, I’ve not been sleeping either, which with the physical activity that I per form I should sleep. You think that I’d care more about that too… But I don’t. Sleeping is for the ones that are tired, and that’s not something I am. You know what I’m going sky diving soon, so I’m pretty excited about that. Who doesn’t want to jump out of a plane and free fall for roughly 5 minutes and solely depend on a unfold able material from a backpack like device. That fits my death wish right about now. I think after that I’ll go hot air ballooning…

I’ve been reading hindu scripture on and off in the recent the Bhagavad Gita. Very nice vivid scripture… and with that I leave you

“If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst at once into the sky, that would be like the splendor of the mighty one…” – The song of God “Bhagavad Gita”

Omega Out.

No that isn’t jibberish… that’s what baptists speak. No, this is hebrew, what jews speak jews are people who may eat people but have alot of money and have been killed for a long time and so on. But, back to this here quote, this means…”Only the judgement of GOD shall matter.”  And i guess this would be said in jibberish by one of those baptists but I’m not sure. Anyway I felt the incline to post this and let this out because I am considering a tattoo and I wanted an iron cross, a war medal used in germany and occasionally italy amongst other countries associated with nazis most commonly, nazis are guys who killed the hebrew speaking people. And so on 

 When I though about  the Iron cross I figured nah someone will mistake me for a skinhead… a skin head is a nazi of madern time… But geometrically, a math… it’s very asthetically pleasing…Then I thought you know I want a star of david a jewish symbol and then I relized I pray to jesus savoir of the jews but they hate him, so christians pray to him another religious group.  But I figured I want something in hebrew… And I also figured that because of my religous stand points this would be good. I also believe this and am sick of people worrying about what others think of them, big deal they said you were fat, or stupid or ugly. Really it dosen’t matter.

So stop compliying to everyone’s ideas and judgements grow up a bit and learn that if you don’t think you live up to their standdars then really you fail… But at what you ask ? NOTHING don’t be stupid you’ll never understand what THEY want because they have no clue what they want AND NEITHER DO YOU. You know it’s easy to rip on others it feels good it build you up… But honestly you want to be like them the ones who you hate. Oh wait I forgot you always become what you hate… Thats why you hate it you’re to scared of becoming it… I mean come on now you fear what you don’t know just as you hate what you fear so you esencially become what you’re ignorant about… hmmm intresting.

Anyway well i find the need to point out blinders !! blinders are these things that cover the sides of your head so you can only see forward. BLINDERS… come on now who dosen’t love a good blinded person. I mean I love totaly owning you and your blinded selfs… I moved to a place where almost the whole state has blinders on except a select few, and those well I mostly befriended. Listen people take the blinders off grow up look into what people say take everythign with a grain of salt. Don’t let others tell you something then go and spread it before you look into it. AND THEN THERE IS NO REASON TO SPREAD IT.

I really hope there are people still reading this. I want people to know more then anything that I think and know that people shouldn’t be bias or have hatred towards somethign they just don’t understand. And I also feel as if this country needs to be changed needs to be rocked in a way to bring back tolorance and so on.

See and the problem is not just the people it’s the leadership I mean it starts there. And weather you support bush or not… Really it shouldn’t matter you should believe and be open hearted… i mean honestly put your self in their shoes.  I mean you would fight for your family that’s what people do… People fight for what they call their own, no matter what the cost is. It’s human nature.

this being one of my more dignified posts I hope it can effect people but unfortuantly it probley won’t.

“you’re only as healthy to the extent that your thoughts are humane.”

Alright, today my nagging wife of a teacher asked what hope meant to me… well I guess I had to think about this for a second or two and other things came to me. First I thought well, if you were under the Muslim faith your hope is to kill millions of Americans to gain 72 virgins per American you kill. For Jews it’s to find that bank and make that money. For gays well I asume it’s to make the mecca to West Hollywood the truely gayest place on earth. But, for me not so much.

For me? Well I can’t say, I suppose it’s that next breath, that next thought, that next idea that will surely appear anytime now. Jesus that’s it I really guess thats my hope, I mean you can ask anyone and im not one to live a super religous life but I feel as if that is what I should or could say. Life is a hope to see new life or watch life fade, to see that things move on and progress even in bad times this I guess makes me hope.

“ignorance is bliss, be your self it’s all you’ve got.”

     Alright here’s something that’s bound to piss people off. Rachel’s Challenge. That’s BULLSHIT, it’s complete and total crap. Listen first off she wouldn’t have gotten all this publicity or even gotten famous if she wasn’t killed by a bunch of emotionally fucked teens (emos) that everyone hated. Second im sick of people who couldn’t give a shit about the killers if someone had talked to them or even given a shit about them maybe they wouldn’t have done what they did. Third why dosen’t anyone care about vioence on school campusses before this, I mean apperently someone needs to kill 13 people for anyone notices that our school simple aren’t safe… or that some one has a shotgun.  Which brings me to my final point how the hell do you only kill 13 people with a shotgun and fully automatic wepon ?  I mean sure I care it’s sad but they’re not the only ones who’ve ever lost someone. I just want people to realize things before they get out of hand.

“ignorance is bliss, be you it’s all you’ve got.”

Alright, I have a moral construct that most fail to understand. This moral construct of mine, is a pure result of my grandmother, PhD. Patricia E. Mazzarella. This woman in all cases is Satan. Why you might ask? well, she loves her self and thinks because of her PhD from Georgetown, she has a right to fuck with peoples heads. Well, in all actuality I really do enjoy spending time with her. The thing is I hate her because, she could litterally get anyone wrapped around her finger in a madder of a conversation. She’s relentless. But, i really do love her. My family knows her so well now that, we can resist. It’s like the dark side of the force, so difficult to resist. But being an amazing ninja as I am and being such a bad ass jedi i can resist the darkside as best I can.

Anyway, this also consists of my personal moral construct. It works like so; The constitution was not written when I was there, neithor was I there when the laws were put into place. I do not have to follow these, I wasn’t there when they made them, they did not consult me. On top of which, I didn’t choose to live in this land (not saying it’s a bad thing) but, I was not allowed to flee before birth. Now that took care of the law so, now I tell you my morals right?… not so much, it’s far to complicated for a greater majority, and well frankly I believe in majority. But, I’ll break it down in simplist terms, I have a set of morals that may play out side of the law, but inside those large morals I can do anything, provided they don’t exit the morals. 

Alright that was a small taste of what goes through my head on a daily basis. See the problem is my grandmother did something similar to this but it was more american, it was more “I’m always right, because I say so.” you can’t win so eventually you deveople a set of morals that completely mind SCREW that and say what you want when you want. granit like I said earlier she is a genius. But, to live in the smae world I do you begin to not care, so this is when you make a moral construct.

See it all trickles down to my grandmother. why i have problems, my grandmother, why I typically believ what i believe because something my grand mother did, why I loath alot of things and stupid people, my grandmother. So for all the people who hate me out there really you  hate what my grandmother turned me into not me as a person.

 ”ignorance is bliss, be your self it’s all you’ve got.”